Sunday, May 19, 2013

Epiphany

OMG!!! She wrote a post for her blog.  Where are the flying monkeys? Did the Venezuelan government get their act together? Has Kanye West stopped being such a douche bag? What in the name of Colonel Sanders prompted this???

Well, I got a little nostalgic this morning standing with my hand over my heart as the national anthem was being sung just before the start of the 2013 Ironman Texas this morning. I looked up in the sky and the clouds were blocking out the sun just like it was two years ago when I was standing at the same edge of the lake ready to jump in and start the process of having the most amazing race of my life.  I did that! I did it well!  It is within me.  It may be hiding right now or may just be possible that I misplaced my race self in my mess of a house (just like I have misplaced one of my Mom's necklaces) and when I clean my shit up and get my act together, I will find it and I will hear my Mom telling me, "If it was a snake, it would of bit you."

I have been plodding along for the past few months.  I have felt like I have been shackled to some heavy kettlebells that I have been dragging along behind me.  This morning, the light bulb went on and I realized that all I had to do was pick up the damn kettlebells and carry the load rather than dragging it along. By carrying the load, I would have to get stronger, no?

I started off January with a good run on New Years Day, I took a cruise to Cozumel on the doomed Carnival Triumph two weeks before it decided to run afoul in the Gulf of Mexico, and I was loving my cooking school lessons so much that I signed up for the second phase of classes. I got a new mountain bike and did some riding around the trails behind my house.  Most importantly, I gave up dairy to see if it would end the intestinal problems. There were only steps backwards.  One was having El Esposo witness one of the kid's seizures. That freaked him out. My dad had his surgery to remove the cancer from his colon. That was kinda stressful. And, I still did not have full use of my shoulder back.  That was aggravating. To top it off, I had one of my athletes go Coo-Coo for Co-Co Puffs and make some pretty wild accusations against another athlete to deflect the attention off of him for a serious financial crime involving missing money from a fundraiser.

In February, out of nowhere, I won my age group at a local 5K.  I felt out of shape and almost barfed at the finish line, but I felt like I was starting on the way back. Then I hit a brick wall.  The kid failed Algebra again and failed it hard. He also had another seizure while he was with El Esposo on an out of town vacation.  Let's just say that there were so many rules, limitations, and unreal expectations that were laid down that my poor kid felt like he was being punished.  I had to keep my mouth shut on most of it so I would not endure the Wrath of Khan.  El Esposo means well, but he has never been in town when we have had neurologist appointments so he is going on his on theories that he can glean from the Internet and his own beliefs.  I was working on dropping gluten out of my diet along with the dairy because I was having leg swelling, five pound weight swings in a 24 hour period, hives, and an overall poor mood.  It is not fun going gluten-free.  It is hard.  To top it off, I had one of my athletes go Coo-Coo for Co-Co Puffs and make some pretty wild accusations against some of the other athletes to hide some really horrible financial disasters that he was responsible for. 


March was busy getting all of my athletes squared away for their races in Oceanside, California and Galveston, Texas.  They all did amazing!  I was very proud of all of them and so appreciative of my assistant coach, Audree, and all of the hard work that she put into the season to make this TEAM the best that it could be.  The rest of March was kind of a blur with work, school stuff, and my dad's long recovery from his surgery that I really did not take time for myself.

April was a little better and the main high point was that i was able to get back in the pool and start swimming again.  I had really missed the water.  My shoulder was back in action!  No one has any idea what was wrong with it, but now I have full range of motion back and I had to get my cellulite back in a swim suit and start the process of rebuilding my fitness.  I also signed up for an event.  A big event.  A crazy event.  A Dopey Challenge.  Yes, I have registered for the Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend's Dopey Challenge.  A 5K on Thursday, a 10K on Friday, a half-marathon on Saturday, and a full marathon on Sunday.  I did the Goofy Challenge in 2010 so tacking on an extra 5K and 10K should not be that bad.  I do have to start running again.  I ran a 5K after the Boston Marathon bombing in support of the runners and i was sucking wind big time.  It is only going to be harder and hotter as the days go on, I need to HTFU and just go out and do it.  I don't have a running partner and I need one badly to keep me accountable and to push me.  It is hard when all of my runner friends live on the complete opposite end of town from where I do.


May came with some challenges in the form of unexpected house guests, termites eating all the wood around one of the front windows of the house, and so other slights.  So, I got mad.  I was really inflamed.  I didn't quite stick my head out a window and yell, "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!" like in the movie Network, but I got mad as hell and I decided that I was going to take on a project that I have wanted to do for a very long time.  I am not ready to let the blog-sphere or the vast majority of my friends or family know about this, because I want to keep it for myself and not share it.  Pretty damn selfish, huh?  I only let four people know about my secret project and these four people were helpful in giving me some guidance and direction, as well as support.  In time, I will let the cat out of the bag, but not right now.


Right now, I have work to do.  I have to take the derailed train and get the cars back on the track.  i have to get the engine stoked with fuel to start moving it down the tracks.  With movement, the laws of physics says that there will be momentum.  I need to overcome the friction that is keeping the wheels from turning.  I have to polish the brass bell.  It is so much work that it seems overwhelming, but I know that I have to do it because if I don't, the moving parts will rust up and things will get beyond repair.  The first item to work on is not the engine, but the control panel.  


Things might not be terribly exciting to read about, but at least I will start having some things to blog about.


Later Gators,


Liz