I hope that I am not a complete head case but when I run or ride my bike by myself (which is quite a lot!) I think about the strangest things. Of course I think about the list of things that I have to get done and the things that most everyone else thinks about (you better switch lanes Ms. H2 driver because there is no sidewalk or shoulder and I can't play "Chicken" with you!) but then I stumble on some REAL DOOZIES.
Here is what was running though my mind while I was out running this evening:
Why is it that cartoon characters only have 4 fingers? And why do they always wear gloves? (This was prompted by a discussion that I heard on the radio.) I started thinking about the fact that no one today really wears gloves unless it is cold. Why did gloves go out of fashion? When did that happen? Where could I go to buy a nice pair of gloves that would not look like I was going to prom? Would Nordstroms have them? Would it even be acceptable to wear gloves today or would people look at me like I was a weirdo? Is the way we dress today too casual to wear gloves?
See the stream of conscieness thinking???
Here is my next internal monologue after remembering passing the A&F store at the mall earlier in the day. Did this guy have to wax? Wow, those pants are really low? Does anyone really wear their pants that low in front outside of Brazil? Who do I need to thank for giving the gals a little "beefcake" to look at? Do other men feel dirty, embaresed, unable to measure up when they walk past these big photos the same way we chicks feel when we walk by the suggestively posed manaquins in the window of Victoria's Secret? Wow. Those pants are low. Nair? Whoa! OMG!!! Just saw a guy in red running shorts that were THAT LOW IN FRONT. NICE!!! Wait, he seems too confident. His chest and abs are almost too good. I bet he bats for the other team. Dang it!
Why have I not lost any toenails? What am I doing differently than everyone else that keeps my toes intact? Yuck, I just thought about the blog I read and the post about some guy who made a necklace out of the toenails he lost. Double Yuck! Is it because I get my shoes big? I keep the nails trimmed short, could that be it? My socks???
Speaking of socks... Why do men wear black socks to work out in? What's with that??? I thought black socks were to be worn with dress pants or slacks of the same color. This look is only one step away from the odd neighbor who mows his lawn in the bucket hat, a wife-beater t-shirt, Bermuda shorts and black socks. It looks goofy.
Hey, were you looking at me? Yes, you. Were you sneaking a peak? Did you like what you saw??? Was it HAWT??!!?? Or were you looking at that Mercedes Maybach that was approaching from behind me and just passed? It was the car, wasn't it??? DANG IT!!!
Hey, you! Yes, you! Olsen Twin look-a-like. Slowly, put down the hand weights and please find a meal to eat. Yes, I am sure you think you really do need to work out, but you also need to realize you need to eat. If that dog on the leash over there got away from his owner, he could take you down. That Jack Russell would snap those arms like they were twigs. If I had a Pop-Tart I would give it to you, but I don't eat those. Take my Clif Shot. TAKE IT!
Well, that ended my run. So I guess I must be strange, but at least I'm out there running....and thinking....and running....
More musings to come.