Gads,
I have great pals, but right now I am in a place where I either need to consider removing myself from their presence or just keeping my mouth shut and keep smiling. I love them to death and that is where I think that I have hit the wall. I see them doing and saying things that causes me pain because the words or the actions are not moving them forward in life, but at times backwards. My husband keeps telling me to forget them all and just focus on the family and right now he may be right, but I don't want to just up and disappear and most of these people I see at least once a week for some reason or another. I don't want to stop being their friends because right now some of them really need a friend. The issues are self esteem, relationships, commitment, reliability, selfishness, ego, pride, maturity, and gluttony.
It hurts me to watch these people that I love to do the things that they do. I want to say something, but I don't want to hurt them or "burn the bridge". If I don't say something soon, would anyone care enough to intervene? Some people I know have already written my friends off and have washed their hands of them or worse yet I have seen my friends become the butt of jokes.
Randy Pausch stated in his famous "Last Lecture" that we must "find the best in everybody; no matter how long you have to wait for them to show it." Well, I have seen these people at their best and now I am seeing them as they spiral out of control to some of their worst behavior. I just keep telling myself to be patient. Keep loving them. It will get better in time. But right now it is painful.
Ok, later gators...
Liz
Sunday, July 27, 2008
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5 comments:
:(
Sounds like the only remedy is a vacation far away.
The issues that you noted are tough. Sometimes you want to go the 'tough love' route, but other times that just doesn't work.
Liz- Sometimes there is only so many times we can smile. I assume these people are adults so they have to take some responisbilites for their actions. You can only do so much and if it's begining to affect you as a person then best to focus on the family. I bet the family are willing to have all the time you got to give happily. Be there for these friends without being endlessly there for them.
Friendships are important, blessed, sometimes a lot of work and often times not very easy. We just must be careful that they don't go toxic on us - then it is perhaps time to move on.
I know it sound harsh but hubby may be right! Good luck with whatever you choose.
We all have friends that drain us, but they are still our friends. However, when we bring all their problems home it is time to re think how we handle it.
BTW, trust the Hub. Men are typically logical and will help you out, even if you can't see it.
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