Last Monday, with our bags packed and arrangements to be absent from work for a week, we boarded the Carnival Ecstasy and set sail for South of the Boarder. This was the second cruise for me and El Esposo having taken one 18 years ago on the Carnival Festival to the Bahamas. This was Bud's first cruise and the first time out of the country. We hoped that he would appreciate the cruise but also get a chance to see a bit of "The Real Mexico" on our journey.
Now I am not one to judge what is deemed to be questionable in taste....oh all right, yes, I do judge from time to time. Heck, I had a mother that I'm sure Martha Stewart took tips from. I had a card carrying member of the Etiquette Police as a mother. With that being said, I do find myself picking up on the things that most people overlook due to the busy society we now live in, the forms of electronic devices that they seem so interested in rather than the people and sights around them, and their own lack of manners from no formal training. A cruise ship is like a wacky shop of horrors for people like me. Here are just a few of the highlights that stand out in my mind:
- Is it appropriate for a cruise line to play Celine Dione's "My Heart Will Go On" (Theme song from Titanic) over the intercom and piped into your room before the ship sets sail?
- Is it appropriate for the Regge Band on the Lido Deck to play Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me..." ( Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor ) where kids are splashing in the pool and grandparents are lounging on deck? - Is it appropriate for the DJ running the cocktail mixing contest on the Lido deck to play the Paradiso Girls " Patron Tequila" (By the end of the night
Imma have you drunk and throwing up (hey! )
By the end of the night
Imma have you so f--ked up!) again with kids splashing in the pool and grandparents lounging on deck? - If your cruise includes wonderful meals why would you eat hamburgers and hot dogs up on the Lido deck or have pizza from the 24/7 cafeteria? Are you too lazy to get a shower and get dressed up?
- Yes Sir, I know what you are checking out behind your glasses and I'm sure she is under 17.
- No Ma'am, I cannot tell that you have had plastic surgery at all but thanks for trying your darndest to show me that your additions probably cost the same amount as the price of this cruise.
- Girls! Really??? Pajama pants and Uggs on a cruise??? REALLY???
- Wow, isn't that great that the entire family and extended clan all have the same t-shirts and tropical shirts on each day so they can find each other in a crowd. Very helpful if you get lost somewhere between your cabin and the water slide. (And all the men in the family went along with this???)
- Just because it is there and free does not mean that you have to eat it.
- As you approach the small round hot tub to climb in, what is the number of people you would think it takes to make a full hot tub? 9? 12? 15??? And you still want to try to climb in?
- Why is there a Men's Hairiest Chest Contest? WHY??!!??
Just so that I do not come off sounding like I did not have a good time, I did. I really did. I had some excellent meals and because the other four chairs were empty at our table because the other family decided to partake of the hamburgers and pizza on the Lido deck, we had a nice family meal each time we sat down. El Esposo even rented a tux one evening and I wore a nice LBD (Little Black Dress). I was able to read my book, work on my tan lines, and take it easy. We were so relaxed sitting and having coffee one evening in a quiet part of the ship that some guy passing by sarcastically told us to settle down and not get too crazy. Bud will have to have a vacation from his vacation because he stayed up every night past midnight hanging out with other kids in the Circle C club and doing fun activities. I was a dull girl and was in bed every evening by 8:45 and fast asleep by 9:00 pm and never heard El Esposo come in from the Karaoke bar or the evening show. Each morning I was up and on a treadmill by 6:00 am to get a workout in before breakfast.
In Progresso, Mexico we took a kayak trip through a mangrove "forest" and saw pelicans, flamingos, sand pipers, gulls, and fish jumping out of the water. All I can say is that I am sure there were some sore people the next day after that adventure. I was the only person in the excursion that had a single kayak since we had an odd number of people and I was the only one in the group with any kayak experience. The wind picked up half way into the trip and we were headed into the wind the entire way back. Even my arms felt the burn of the lactic acid but since I am in shape I had no soreness the next day.
Progresso is a sleepy little coastal town. Most people were taking excursions further in to Merida for shopping or to Mayan ruins 60-70 miles away. Only one cruise boat docks per week in Progresso and we were it for that week. Progresso has the longest dock in the world at almost 4 miles long. In the next few years, the pier will be extended out into deeper waters to allow more cruise ships to dock. I am sure the town of Progresso wants the added American dollars flowing through it.
Our next port of call was Cozumel. After some paperwork and wrangling, we were able to get off the boat and I was able to get off with all of my luggage. We met my friend Dennis who runs Casa Deja Blue and he drove us to his villa. We got changed into swim gear, walked down the street, and swam with the dolphins! Seriously, Dolphinaris is two blocks from the villa. The dolphins were amazing! I think I am in love and my new boyfriend's name is Linco.
We got to swim up to and pet the dolphins so many times I lost count.
We got belly rides,
hugs,
kisses,
and hand shakes as well as other amazing displays of jumping and singing. Our dolphin Trainer, Anna, had a degree in marine biology and was very good at answering everyone's questions about Linco, Marina, and the other 15 dolphins at the park. With the dolphin adventure over and fajitas in our stomach, it was time for El Esposo and Bud to head back to the ship. I stayed behind on the island!
Now many of you know what is going down this weekend on the island! If not, you will need to stay tuned to all the details that will be coming.
For now, Adios from South of the Boarder and from the island.
Later Gators!
Liz
P.S. Sorry for any typos. Here in Mexico, spell check does not work so well with all English.
